
Digital media gadgets are helpful for communication, training, and leisure. For a lot of dad and mom, they’re additionally instruments for maintaining the peace — a fast and dependable approach to relax a toddler who may in any other case be headed towards a meltdown. However is it a good suggestion to make frequent use of digital media to assist regulate a toddler’s feelings? Research recommend in any other case.

Emotional regulation – the flexibility to handle and form your emotional responses – is a vital life talent, and it’s one which kids start growing at an early age. For instance, by two years of age, many youngsters have discovered that they will address destructive feelings by distracting themselves with fascinating, nice actions (e.g., Schoppmann et al 2019).
It’s is a vital step on the street to emotional regulation. However what if youngsters are distracting themselves with digital cell gadgets? Is there a draw back?
Can display screen time trigger habits issues?
When researchers have examined the general development throughout research, they’ve discovered a small, however statistically vital impact: The extra time youngsters spend consuming digital leisure, the extra possible they’re to endure from habits issues, like aggression, nervousness, or ADHD (Eirich et al 2022). It’s a correlation, and never — by itself — proof that display screen time causes habits issues. And provided that the impact dimension is fairly modest, the correlation won’t appear too worrying.
However be mindful, that is the general development for display screen time, with out delving into the circumstances surrounding media use. What if a toddler is watching content material that’s violent, or developmentally inappropriate? What if media use causes delayed bedtimes, or misplaced sleep? What if youngsters are spending a lot time with digital media that they’re lacking out on actual, reside social interactions? Or failing to maintain up with their college work?
When these particular circumstances apply, media use could also be linked with extra highly effective, destructive results (Pagani et al 2023; Miller et al 2022; Carter et al 2016; Radesky and Christakis 2016). And we will add one other particular circumstance: Utilizing media to appease kids who’re feeling upset or stressed. But even right here, the proof is nuanced. So let’s dive deeper. When are dad and mom more likely to attempt “display screen time soothing”, and what makes researchers assume this can be a problematic tactic?
Many dad and mom encourage the usage of cell gadgets – like tablets and smartphones – to assist youngsters relax. And in some conditions, this is perhaps essentially the most sensible possibility obtainable. As an example, if you’re cooped up together with your youngster on an extended automotive experience…or caught on airplane…or ready for consideration on the physician’s workplace…you’ll possible be glad about the distraction provided by digital media.
It’s additionally straightforward to see how the dad and mom of particularly emotional kids – youngsters who battle quite a bit with destructive emotions – may make larger use of cell media gadgets. In a single research, researchers surveyed 144 dad and mom of younger toddlers, and requested them about their reliance on cell phones to appease misery and preserve issues calm. Dad and mom had been more likely to say they used telephones this fashion if their kids scored excessive for social-emotional difficulties (Radesky et al 2016).
However this brings up the entire query of the hen and the egg. Are dad and mom utilizing “display screen time soothing” as a result of their youngsters are combating emotional issues? Or does this reliance on digital media contribute emotional issues within the first place? And right here we have now some proof to information us. Though some dad and mom are reacting to pre-existing issues, it’s additionally possible that display screen time soothing – as a daily, go-to technique – makes issues worse. To see what I imply, think about how youngsters react to nerve-racking conditions.
Emotional reactivity, habits issues, and display screen time
Psychologists use the time period “emotional reactivity” to explain how simply and intensely a person responds to emotional triggers (Rothbart et al 1981). For instance, a toddler who is extremely reactive is extra more likely to turn into very offended or very anxious. And the hyper-reaction extends to the physiological stress response, as nicely – a racing coronary heart, a spike in stress hormones, and so forth.
Whereas there may be nothing intrinsically unsuitable with being very emotionally reactive, it places a toddler at larger threat for varied emotional signs and habits issues — together with emotional outbursts, nervousness, and aggression (e.g., Kalvin et al 2016). Is emotional reactivity a set trait – one thing you’re merely born with, and might’t change? Though emotional reactivity is influenced by genetic results (Hawn et al 2015), we all know that environmental elements are additionally extraordinarily necessary. And a latest research means that one in every of these elements – relying closely on display screen media to remain calm – might make some youngsters turn into extra reactive over time.
Examine: Excessive utilization of screens to appease could result in will increase in emotional reactivity
Jenny Radesky and her colleagues interviewed the dad and mom of greater than 360 preschoolers, asking about their parenting practices, and about their kids’s habits patterns. Subsequent, the researchers carried out two follow-ups – one after three months, and the opposite after six.
Have been dad and mom extra possible to make use of “display screen time soothing” if they’d a toddler who was particularly tough or temperamental? Sure. Amongst kids with “excessive temperamental surgency” – an inclination to be emotionally intense, extremely lively, and impulsive – those that displayed a lot of emotional reactivity in the course of the first follow-up had been extra more likely to be utilizing digital cell gadgets to calm themselves three months later.
However the reverse was additionally true. If hyperactive, impulsive youngsters had been counting on display screen time soothing on the first follow-up, they’d a larger likelihood of being extremely emotionally reactive on the second observe up.
And for the final inhabitants of boys, the connection between display screen time soothing and emotional reactivity was largely within the path of heavy display screen use previous the worsening of habits. Boys who had been accustomed to utilizing gadgets to relax on the first follow-up had a better likelihood of turning into extra emotionally reactive on the second follow-up (Radesky et al 2023).
So why would the usage of digital media gadgets – so useful for reversing or stopping an quick meltdown – be problematic over the long run?

The most definitely reply is that children can turn into depending on the exterior, technological repair, and fail to study different methods to manage their destructive feelings.
Youngsters have to find out about their emotional responses. They should discover methods to speak about their emotions, relatively than lash out. And they should examine an array of methods for calming down – so that they’ll have a couple of answer when they’re feeling distressed. They will encounter many conditions of their lives – at school, on the playground, within the office – the place they received’t must possibility of utilizing a telephone or pill to calm themselves down.
But when a toddler makes frequent use of display screen time soothing, she or he could really feel little motivation to develop these broader coping abilities. Quite the opposite, the kid could study to affiliate digital media with fast reduction and pleasure. Who wouldn’t need to preserve coming again for extra? And naturally youngsters could merely miss out on alternatives to study from on a regular basis social interactions — as a result of they’re spending a lot time watching screens.
So kids find yourself with a really restricted potential to deal with tough feelings. In essence, their emotion regulation “instrument field” incorporates a single trick: Soothe your self with digital leisure gadgets. And this may result in extra bother. What if youngsters come to really feel that display screen time soothing is the solely approach to fell higher? What if youngsters begin displaying indicators of dependency, and throw extreme tantrums when they’re requested to cease utilizing digital media?
“Tantrums, toddlers, and expertise: Temperament, media emotion regulation, and problematic media use in early childhood”
That’s the title of a latest research by Sarah Coyne and her colleagues, who wished to know if a heavy reliance on display screen time for emotional regulation places child in danger for what we would name a media use “dependancy”. Do youngsters begin demanding ever-greater entry to digital media? Does it appear that display screen time is the one factor that may calm youngsters down? Do youngsters show “withdrawal” signs once we take screens away — turning into extraordinarily upset?
Coyne’s crew started by interviewing the dad and mom of 269 toddlers (kids across the age of two.5 years) about their use display screen time soothing, posing questions like these:
- “After your youngster will get upset, how typically do you permit your youngster to observe a tv present (on any gadget) to assist him/her relax?”
- “How typically does your youngster need to use digital media (e.g., TV/DVDs, tablets, telephone, video video games) as a method to assist regulate his/her temper?”
- “How typically do you give your youngster a mobile phone, pill, or different media gadget to assist preserve him/her calm whenever you’re out in public?”
As well as, the researchers requested dad and mom in the event that they agree with statements like:
- “When my youngster has had a nasty day, display screen media appears to be the one factor that helps him/her really feel higher” and
- “The period of time my youngster needs to make use of display screen media retains growing.”
With this background info collected, the researchers moved onto an important check: An experimentally manipulated disappointment. Every toddler was informed they may watch TV – an episode of a preferred academic tv present referred to as Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. However then, with out warning — simply 5 minutes into this system — the video presentation was abruptly terminated. The kid didn’t get to complete the episode. Irritating, for positive. However how, precisely, did youngsters react to this case?
The researchers discovered that it depended, partly, on a toddler’s dwelling life – on how typically a toddler’s dad and mom make use of digital soothing. In households the place display screen time soothing was used quite a bit, youngsters had been extra more likely to “tantrum with excessive emotion” when the tv clip abruptly ended (Coyne et al 2021).
Furthermore, display screen time soothing was additionally related to extra problematic media use. Youngsters accustomed to regulating their feelings with digital media had been extra possible need to enhance their use of media over time. And oldsters had been extra more likely to say that display screen media appeared just like the solely factor able to soothing their kids (Coyne et al 2021).
So how can we foster emotional regulation…with out counting on digital media?
1. Encourage youngsters to have interaction in hands-on, bodily play
As I famous within the introduction, younger kids can study to manage their feelings by partaking in enjoyable actions, however the enjoyable doesn’t have to come back from digital media. In my article, “How one can distract a two-year previous (to keep away from an emotional meltdown)”, I clarify how we will encourage youngsters to manage their feelings by partaking in bodily play — with toys. Little youngsters are influenced by the instance we set. So if we present our kids that we can efficiently use toys to distract ourselves from boredom or frustration, our children will possible undertake the identical technique.
2. Keep in mind that youngsters typically resort to tantrums as a result of they don’t know the way else to speak their misery
When researchers have tracked younger kids over time, they’ve discovered that tantrums are related with language. As an example, toddlers with fewer phrases of their vocabularies are likely to have extra frequent and extra disregulated mood tantrums. And in a single research “late talkers” had been almost twice as possible as different kids to expertise extreme tantrums (Manning et al 2019).
This implies that we may also help kids study to deal with destructive feelings by studying to label — and focus on — what’s bothering them. Youngsters have to know that it’s okay to really feel offended, or unhappy, or pissed off, and that we’ll hear and really feel empathy for his or her misery. As soon as this understanding is in place, youngsters might be higher positioned to study secure, acceptable methods to take care of their feelings.
3. Develop your abilities as an emotion coach
An “emotion coach” is conscious of youngsters’s emotions, and helps youngsters discover the best phrases to precise what they’re experiencing. The coach stays calm, and talks with youngsters in methods which might be supportive, non-judgmental, and constructive. You do your finest to deal with what you assume your youngster is feeling, but additionally present that you’re open to being corrected (e.g., “You appear offended…”). And, as you get your youngster to speak about his or her emotions, you possibly can focus on methods for coping or fixing the issue.
When dad and mom have been skilled to do that – and to cease responding to youngsters in counterproductive methods (by yelling, displaying anger, or being dismissive) – their kids skilled enhancements in socio-emotional functioning. They confirmed proof of being much less careworn, too (e.g., Havighurst et al 2022). You possibly can study extra about emotion teaching – and easy methods to observe it – in my article, “Emotion teaching: Serving to youngsters address destructive emotions”.
4. Don’t attempt to motive with, or act punitively in the direction of, a toddler who’s in the course of a mood tantrum
When adults attempt to intervene throughout a tantrum, they normally fail to enhance the state of affairs, and infrequently make it worse. That is true for threats of punishment and shows of parental anger. These could make the tantrum extra intense or longer lasting! But it surely’s additionally true for feedback we make which might be meant to calm youngsters down. Typically our well-intentioned phrases merely inflame extra anger. So consultants advocate that you just stay visibly calm, and (to the diploma that it’s secure) act as if you’re ignoring your youngster’s dangerous habits (Sisterhen and Wy 2022).
In case your youngster is lashing out in public area, it’s possible you’ll want to maneuver her or him to a personal location. And you may’t maintain again in case your youngster is hurting different individuals – or inflicting self-harm. But when a toddler is, for instance, simply screaming and pounding the ground, your finest guess is to mannequin calmness and present your youngster that you just aren’t going to work together whereas she or he is uncontrolled with rage.
5. Experiment with an array of distracting actions, and see which of them are a great match on your youngster
Each youngster is a person, and totally different youngsters have totally different wants and preferences. Some discover reduction in boisterous, bodily exercise. Others could get pleasure from quiet video games or crafts. And a few kids could reply particularly nicely to sure sensory distractions.
In a press release for the University of Michigan, Dr. Jenny Radesky recommends that oldsters check out alternative routes to distract their kids from stressed or destructive moods. Does your youngster reply nicely to hugging or being hugged? Does your youngster get pleasure from taking a look at a sparkle jar? Or squishing putty or clay in his or her palms? Or doing a lot of intense, bodily train? Take note of your youngster’s preferences, and assist her or him uncover methods that work.
Extra details about display screen time, and dealing with tough habits
Display screen time can affect greater than a toddler’s potential to manage feelings. It may additionally intervene with the event of early language abilities — by displacing dialog time with adults — and it may have some worrying results on sleep. To study extra, take a look at these Parenting Science articles:
Questioning what science tells us about one of the best methods to deal with tough habits? Check out my articles, “Constructive parenting suggestions: Getting higher outcomes by way of humor, empathy, and diplomacy” and “Disruptive habits issues: 12 evidence-based suggestions for dealing with aggression, defiance, and appearing out.”
References: The draw back of soothing with digital media
Carter B, Rees P, Hale L, Bhattacharjee D, Paradkar MS. 2016. Affiliation Between Moveable Display screen-Based mostly Media Gadget Entry or Use and Sleep Outcomes: A Systematic Evaluate and Meta-analysis. JAMA Pediatr. 170(12):1202-1208.
Coyne SM, Shawcroft J, Gale M, Gentile DA, Etherington JT, Holmgren H, Stockdale L. 2021. Tantrums, toddlers and expertise: Temperament, media emotion regulation, and problematic media use in early childhood. Comput Human Behav. 120:106762.
Edwards MK, Rhodes RE, Loprinzi PD. 2017. A Randomized Management Intervention Investigating the Results of Acute Train on Emotional Regulation. Am J Well being Behav. 41(5):534-543
Havighurst SS, Kehoe CE, Harley AE, Radovini A, Thomas R. 2022. A randomized managed trial of an emotion socialization parenting program and its affect on parenting, kids’s habits and mother or father and youngster stress cortisol: Tuning in to Toddlers. Behav Res Ther. 149:104016.
Hawn SE, Overstreet C, Stewart KE, Amstadter AB. 2015. Current advances within the genetics of emotion regulation: a overview. Curr Opin Psychol. 3:108-116.
Eirich R, McArthur BA, Anhorn C, McGuinness C, Christakis DA, Madigan S. 2022. Affiliation of Display screen Time With Internalizing and Externalizing Conduct Issues in Kids 12 Years or Youthful: A Systematic Evaluate and Meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry. 79(5):393-405.
Kalvin CB, Bierman KL, Gatzke-Kopp LM. 2016. Emotional Reactivity, Conduct Issues, and Social Adjustment at College Entry in a Excessive-risk Pattern. J Abnorm Youngster Psychol. 44(8):1527-1541.
Manning BL, Roberts MY, Estabrook R, Petitclerc A, Burns JL, Briggs-Gowan M, Wakschlag LS, Norton ES. 2019. Relations Between Toddler Expressive Language and Mood Tantrums in a Group Pattern. J Appl Dev Psychol. 65:101070.
Miller EB, Canfield CF, Wippick H, Shaw DS, Morris PA, Mendelsohn AL. 2022. Predictors of tv at bedtime and associations with toddler sleep and habits in a medicaid-eligible, racial/ethnic minority pattern. Toddler Behav Dev. 67:101707.
Pagani LS, Bernard J and Fitzpatrick C. 2023. Potential Associations Between Preschool Publicity to Violent Televiewing and Psychosocial and Tutorial Dangers in Early Adolescent Boys and Ladies. J Dev Behav Pediatr. 44(1):e1-e11.
Radesky JS and Christakis DA. 2016. Elevated Display screen Time: Implications for Early Childhood Improvement and Conduct. Pediatr Clin North Am. 63(5):827-39.
Radesky JS, Kaciroti N, Weeks HM, Schaller A, and Miller AL. 2023. Longitudinal Associations Between Use of Cell Units for Calming and Emotional Reactivity and Govt Functioning in Kids Aged 3 to five Years. JAMA Pediatr.177(1):62-70.
Radesky JS, Peacock-Chambers E, Zuckerman B, and Silverstein M. 2016. Use of cell expertise to calm upset kids: Associations with social-emotional growth. JAMA Pediatrics 170(4), 397–399.
Rothbart MK, Derryberry D. Improvement of particular person variations in temperament. Adv Dev Psychol. 1981;1: 37–86.
Schoppmann J, Schneider S, Seehagen S. 2022. Are you able to educate me to not be offended? Relations between temperament and the emotion regulation technique distraction in 2-year-olds. Youngster Dev 93(1):165-179.
Schoppmann J, Schneider S, Seehagen S. 2019. Wait and See: Observational Studying of Distraction as an Emotion Regulation Technique in 22-Month-Previous Toddlers. J Abnorm Youngster Psychol. 47(5):851-863.
Sisterhen LL and Wy PAW. 2022. Mood Tantrums. [Updated 2022 Aug 22]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2022 Jan-. Obtainable from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK544286/
Content material final modified 1/2023
picture credit
References
Coyne SM, Shawcroft J, Gale M, Gentile DA, Etherington JT, Holmgren H, Stockdale L. 2021. Tantrums, toddlers and expertise: Temperament, media emotion regulation, and problematic media use in early childhood. Comput Human Behav. 120:106762.
Edwards MK, Rhodes RE, Loprinzi PD. 2017. A Randomized Management Intervention Investigating the Results of Acute Train on Emotional Regulation. Am J Well being Behav. 41(5):534-543
Eirich R, McArthur BA, Anhorn C, McGuinness C, Christakis DA, Madigan S. 2022. Affiliation of Display screen Time With Internalizing and Externalizing Conduct Issues in Kids 12 Years or Youthful: A Systematic Evaluate and Meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry. 79(5):393-405.
Havighurst SS, Kehoe CE, Harley AE, Radovini A, Thomas R. 2022. A randomized controlled trial of an emotion socialization parenting program and its impact on parenting, children’s behavior and parent and child stress cortisol: Tuning in to Toddlers. Behav Res Ther. 149:104016.
Hawn SE, Overstreet C, Stewart KE, Amstadter AB. 2015. Current advances within the genetics of emotion regulation: a overview. Curr Opin Psychol. 3:108-116.
Kalvin CB, Bierman KL, Gatzke-Kopp LM. 2016. Emotional Reactivity, Conduct Issues, and Social Adjustment at College Entry in a Excessive-risk Pattern. J Abnorm Youngster Psychol. 44(8):1527-1541.
Manning BL, Roberts MY, Estabrook R, Petitclerc A, Burns JL, Briggs-Gowan M, Wakschlag LS, Norton ES. 2019. Relations Between Toddler Expressive Language and Mood Tantrums in a Group Pattern. J Appl Dev Psychol. 65:101070.
Radesky JS, Kaciroti N, Weeks HM, Schaller A, and Miller AL. 2023. Longitudinal Associations Between Use of Cell Units for Calming and Emotional Reactivity and Govt Functioning in Kids Aged 3 to five Years. JAMA Pediatr.177(1):62-70.
Radesky JS, Peacock-Chambers E, Zuckerman B, and Silverstein M. 2016. Use of cell expertise to calm upset kids: Associations with social-emotional growth. JAMA Pediatrics 170(4), 397–399.
Rothbart MK, Derryberry D. Improvement of particular person variations in temperament. Adv Dev Psychol. 1981;1: 37–86.
Schoppmann J, Schneider S, Seehagen S. 2022. Are you able to educate me to not be offended? Relations between temperament and the emotion regulation technique distraction in 2-year-olds. Youngster Dev 93(1):165-179.
Schoppmann J, Schneider S, Seehagen S. 2019. Wait and See: Observational Studying of Distraction as an Emotion Regulation Technique in 22-Month-Previous Toddlers. J Abnorm Youngster Psychol. 47(5):851-863.
Sisterhen LL and Wy PAW. 2022. Mood Tantrums. [Updated 2022 Aug 22]. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing; 2022 Jan-. Obtainable from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK544286/
Content material final modified 1/2023
title picture of father holding distressed toddler watching tv by Lopolo / shutterstock
picture of younger boy holding pill and shouting by NadyaEugene / shutterstock